harrow's ship history: "it's complicated"
26/03/2024
this is mostly a reproduction of a tumblr post!
like most people who have a WoL they care about, i was quickly bitten by the so-called "brainworms" about potential pairings. as i went through MSQ for the first time back in 5.3, i kept a mental note on which characters seemed like they would have interesting interactions with Harrow; and when i caught up, i had a lot of time to feed the brainworms. not all of those potential pairings stayed relevant, but about a year ago (2023) i made this post about characters with whom Harrow makes a cool ship. at the end, i elaborate a bit more on one of my ships that i keep coming back to.
a sidenote about ships with other wols: i don't do that anymore. with that out of the way, here's the brainworms:
his first bby crush: haurchefant. at first, harrow wanted to earn his favour more than anything, but the more haurchefant aided him and the scions and supported them when none of the other ishgardian nobles were willing to, the more harrow began to develop feelings. perhaps not quite romantic but a tender affection all the same. haurchefant's sacrifice was what pushed harrow over the edge to become a full fledged dark knight. he swore to avenge his dear friend and his grief fuelled the dark arts for many moons.
another kind of little crush happening simultaneously: estinien. harrow originally trained to become a dragoon, and his mentor requested his help to stop a fugitive estinien. at that time they were rivals, enemies even, but estinien went away in the end. eventually he came back to accompany harrow in his travels during hw, and spending time with his equal and bonding over their worldview shattering discoveries made harrow kinda develop feelings for him too. but he never really considered expressing them. estinien went away again, returning a long time later in ew, when they fought alongside each other again, further strengthening their bond. i think if there was to be a pairing for harrow going forward id probably pick estinien
a short lived infatuation: crystal exarch. no, not graha. specifically the wise old leader who yoinked harrow and his friends into a parallel world and tasked them with stopping a calamity. harrow is naturally drawn to figures of authority and is in fact quite submissive. seeing all the townspeople calling this hooded figure "my lord" and showing reverence and understanding the importance of the mission given to him, harrow became infatuated with the exarch in a "knight devoted to his king" sort of way. however, after the noble and revered exarch effectively died and awkward fanboy graha awakened again, harrow's feelings just fizzled away. i can't say for certain whether harrow would have remembered graha from crystal tower. at that time, harrow was laser focused on getting to ishgard so he saw ct as a distraction.
a staple of neo's ships: selfcest i mean fray. dark knight job quests went pretty much as stated in canon, but with a twist on harrows part. subconsciously harrow wished for a mentor to guide him through the storm of mixed emotions he felt upon getting to ishgard for the first time since his childhood, and having his rose tinted glasses shattered by the grim reality of the war and the abuse suffered by the people. being a very religious man, he also wished for some kind of punishment. fray manifested as such a figure, who harnessed harrow's repressed emotions and taught him to use them as fuel for the dark arts. harrow would be submissive to fray, having an apprentice-master dynamic, but ultimately conquering the dark knight's power and claiming it as a tool for justice.
ascian hateships: first, elidibus. i just adore elidibert, his english voice is hmm so sexy and the french one i've just discovered is pretty good too. i think they make a good hateship, bc harrow fully embraces his position as wol/wod/champion and would have despised elidibus, a pretender with corrupted ideals of salvation. though their encounter was brief they could have had a lot of angst about their ideals and methods, with elidi taking advantage of ardberts body to force harrow into submission. i haven't thought about this pairing in ages tbh, so idk yet how meeting themis would change things up. next, fandaniel. after many trials, harrow began to appreciate life more, in contrast to his previous nearly suicidal self-sacrificing impulses. thus, he didn't take it well when this ascian showed up out of nowhere and declared that he was going to destroy everything just for the nihilistic hell of it. they'd have a more violent dynamic, bringing out both their destructive tendencies. shoutout to the bodyswap episode; harrow would have been furious and so distressed to see his body threatening his allies' safety.
a complicated frenemy: zenos. harrow was kinda emotionally detached from the whole alamhigo situation to be frank, but meeting zenos was essential to shaping post-stormblood harrow. by their first encounter, harrow was still 50/50 on dragoon/dark knight, yet throughout sb he started leaning more towards tanking. much like zenos, for whom fighting an equal was the only thing that made him feel anything, harrow found satisfaction in putting his life on the line to protect his allies. this morphed into the self sacrificing impulses mentioned above, as harrow would let himself get hurt as a way to atone for his past mistakes (which correlates to the sb job quests). however, harrow would have hated zenos for thinking they are at all alike. yet he couldn't help the shock of seeing him kill himself after laying bare his emotions. harrow's feelings towards him wouldn't soften as zenos kept coming back, but at the very end when zenos went all the way to the edge of the universe to help him and afterwards have a friendly duel, i think harrow would finally have appreciated him a little.
kinda funny how i have a lot more to say in regards to non-friendly or weird dynamic-y ships than the actual romance options haha but that kinda tracks with my history
so, i happened to discover elidibus's french voice while doing seat of sacrifice normal and i am obsessed with how he says 'tu es le dernier obstacle... meurs !!' (you are the last obstacle... die!) as he prepares an LB4. the way he says meurs has flipped a switch inside me lmao
looking back at 5.3 when elidibus had taken over ardbert's body and was channeling people's wishes for a saviour to become the primal wol. it was a brief encounter and his plans were never quite explained very well i feel like, but i had forgotten how raw some of his lines are!
'I see you for what you are. You are death, and only in death shall you serve any purpose.'
'I am your enemy, you mine. Our goals are in conflict, and we are fated to clash.'
'But do not imagine I crave remorse. Only justice.'
it's cool how unapologetically antagonistic he presents himself as if it's a logical conclusion given his mission (to save the world at all costs), even though he can barely remember how he got to this point. he was in some ways similar to harrow in the past: a blind devotion, a single minded pursuit of duty, admiration for his peers and superiors. elidibus was greatly attached to his title, which represented his job in the convocation and later his role as the heart of zodiark. similarly, harrow embraced his position as hydaelyn's champion and wol/wod, having come to understand that he was more than the saviour of a nation or continent, but of many worlds. they were each heroes of their own stories.
even so, there were moments where harrow's conviction faltered. emetselch's many speeches about how the world was perfect and now is broken and filled with selfish unworthy people would have given him pause. and elidibus's first line quoted above (which is exclusive to the english localisation, but it's so raw i have to consider it canon) would have fuelled harrow's secret death fantasies. one of the first angsty scenarios that haunted me when i was first feeding my wol brainworms (i even made art of it!) was harrow having someone consensually impale him with a blade or lance so he could have a taste of death, and i think this elidibus could def do it lmao